Cruel Fate
by Lorelei to the Core
Summary: *NEW CHAPTER 9-18-02* After the death of Ernest, Gareas doesn't know what he has to live for. However, there's a young man on Zion who has no recollection of his past...
1. Prologue

Title: Cruel Fate

Content: shonen ai (but when is their not?) AUish

Disclaimer: I have the rights to my penguin, Stan. Wait, I don't have a penguin Stan…ok, well, I don't own Megami Kouhosei either…

~Prologue~

            Space. That unforgiving, empty thing, that stretched on for miles upon miles. Whatever was lost in its expanse was inevitably never returned. Gareas hated that deep expanse.

            There was a time when he hadn't had such a hard driven hatred towards that unknown exposure. A time when he hadn't been alone, even when space was so lonely at times. He at least had the comfort of that soft, smooth voice, sometimes speaking to his face, sometimes a faint crackle over an intercom…Either way, it brought him security in such an insecure life. 

            But not anymore. He watched with a surging pain in his emotional green eyes, as the sleek black casket spiraled farther and farther out of view, the black void of space swallowing it until it disappeared from sight entirely. Gareas stood, completely awestruck and unmoving. A cry of rage, of overwhelming sadness, of fear, hung in his throat, unable to escape him. He stood before the ranks of fellow pilots, candidates, and staff, his hand slowly lowering from his salute. The movement was empty, just as he felt empty. Eventually, they all left him, returning to their schedules. 

            Gareas moved forward to the large window, staring out in a trance. He placed a hand on its surface, the palm spread forward. His fingers spasmed slightly on the glass. A translucent reflection of his own ghostly empty face stared back at him in the window, and he realized just how alone he really was. A lost pair of soulless green eyes bore into his own; asking him what was left to live for. He let his head drop to avoid their accusing stare. 

            A hand rested gently on Gareas' shoulder. The latter tensed, and flung his head around to make eye contact with its owner, his green mussed hair whipping across his face. He was met with a pair of sorrowful, compassionate brown eyes, offering him some one to confide in. Gareas simply turned away, longingly staring after the long since departed coffin. Rio took his hand away, warily watching Gareas' mournful reverie. He dared not speak, the green-haired pilot's emotions far too delicate to predict. 

            "I didn't get to see him," Gareas' voice came out hoarse and low, barely audible. Rio leaned his face in closer.

            "Eh?" he murmured, hoping for some clarification. Gareas slowly turned from the window, slumping against it with little energy in him. His eyes focused on some unknown point across from him.

            "I never got to see…the body," Gareas repeated, hesitant on addressing the source of his pain. Rio blinked a few times, wondering why Gareas would have wanted to see the unmoving form of their former comrade. He wasn't stupid enough not to know that Gareas and Ernest had shared a deep friendship. He also knew that seeing his friend's corpse lying dead in a casket would do Gareas no emotional help at all. He himself had shuddered at the image of his own comrade, pale, unmoving…

            "Maybe it wasn't something you'd have wanted to see," Rio replied softly. Gareas' eyes burned into him then, anger seething, yet overtaken by the lost sorrow within them. He let his head drop again, green stands of hair hanging dejectedly around his face.

            "I don't care. I lo—" he stopped, words dying in his loss of passion. His emotions dipped in and out so suddenly, it began to worry Rio. "They let space have him." Rio raised an eyebrow. He was seeing a side of Gareas he'd never seen before. Maybe it was that Ernest had rubbed off on him, causing him to be more pensive and insightful. Whatever it was, it wasn't Gareas. Gareas just didn't seem to be there at all.

            "Well, we couldn't have buried him, you know that," Rio continued. Gareas made no response. Rio hesitated before going on. "What is it that makes you say that?" Gareas murmured something, sounding almost like a sad sarcastic grunt of some sort, before raising his head once more.

            "I'm jealous." He stated. Rio's brow furrowed in confusion, but before he had a chance to ask anything more, Gareas had left him. The tall pilot's form stalked listlessly through the corridor as he returned to his quarters. He stood in the doorway, taking slow, dragging breaths. His scent still lingered. Ernest could be felt, his presence seeping from the corners of the room, to where the sheets lay twisted, from lack of being made. It wasn't that long ago the two of them had laid there, acting as if there was no tomorrow…

            _Ernest's blonde head lay on Gareas' bare shoulder, beneath the sheets their bodies entwined as one. A small smile lingered on his delicate features, blue eyes soft and loving. Gareas feigned sleep beside him, though his secret was blown by the quirks at the edges of his mouth. Ernest's smile broadened, pretending to go along with Gareas, and squeezing the other's waist more tightly. The empath was almost afraid to let go, the moment itself far too precious to leave. _

_Slowly, own green eye cracked open. Gareas' small smile became a lopsided smile of happiness as he saw that Ernest was already asleep. He could feel it in the blonde's steady, even breathing. Carefully, he reached over the sleeping form of his lover to shut out the light, when Ernest murmured softly into his chest._

_"Mmm…Garu…don't leave yet…" Ernest's body shifted closer to Gareas', and the latter chuckled irritatedly. Though he greatly enjoyed the warmth, he was now pinioned against the bed, and couldn't reach the lamp. Oh well. They'd sleep in the light that night. For all the world, they, especially, needed light in such a life filled with darkness._

_But having each other would always offer a beacon to that darkness._

Gareas sat carefully on the edge of the bed, afraid to disturb the sheets as they were. He wanted to preserve them, in the hopes that just having something left by Ernest would bring him back. Gareas knew, deep down, that there was no such luck. A tear escaped him, rolling down his cheek, but closely followed by many others. Before he knew it, he was deftly clinging to the lump of abandoned sheets, and silently sobbing into them, each breath he drew smelling and tasting of his lost love. 

The young woman laughed, turning her head to look over her shoulder every so often as she ran. She knew her younger brother was quickly gaining ground on her. She raced through the forest, barely aware of the low limbs and bows of trees and bushes obscuring her path. She brushed at them to clear the way, gasping as the scraped at her bare legs and arms. Suddenly, her foot came in contact with a large object, and instead of simply stubbing it, she flew forward as she lost balance. She landed sprawled in the grass, lying there a moment to catch her breath. When she looked up, her eyes widened. The thing she'd run into looked like a huge black box. No…a coffin!

A younger boy came into view, slowing as he saw his sister rising from the ground. 

"What's wrong?" he panted. The girl held out her hand to the coffin. The boy's eyes widened. "Whoa! Is that…?" The two sibling's awe was suddenly broken by a sharp, but muffled, gasp of pain. The girl surged forward.

"Oh god! They're alive!" she cried in panic. The boy jerked back, startled, as the woman frantically worked at the casket's latches. Her breath and face were incredibly steady for such a shock. Her brother watched in amazement as she worked the latches open and threw open the cover of the casket. The two stared into it. Inside, a handsome young man with blonde hair framing his elegant face lay. He was asleep, and his cheeks flushed from the temporary loss of breath. The girl lowered her head to his chest, listening carefully. "He's…alive…" 

Author's Note: HAHA! My first fic for Megami Kouhosei! Whaddaya think? I, for one, absolutely LOVE Ernest, and could NOT allow him to die…

Pinku: Like all of you're other guys?

Lorelei: Shut up! I can't help it if I have a curse!

Pinku: *snickers*

Lorelei: Anyway, tell me what you think. I'm in WAY over my head now…I think I have four unfinished stories on my plate…plus so many ideas…ugh. It's such a torture being gifted! *dramatic pose* Bai bai, minna!

Pinku: *grin*


	2. Chapter One

Title: Cruel Fate

Content: shonen ai (Wheeee!) and AUish, although seriously, this could've happened! And, for that matter, SHOULD'VE! *sniff* Kill my poor Ernest…I THINK NOT!

Disclaimer: Ernest would not be dead if I had the rights to this program…WHY ERNEST?! WHY?!

Pinku: *nibbles on pocky* Don't know…

~Chapter One~

            Upon deeper inspection of the body, the girl saw that it was marred by many cuts and bruises of various sizes, as if he'd been thrown around quite a bit. His face had escaped the least harmed, though a few scratches and bruises still managed to mark it. The boy that lay there couldn't be older than his teens. He wore a simple white shirt, no hints at where he might have come from. The girl sighed, signaling to her brother to help her lift him out.

            "What are we gonna do with him?" the boy asked as the two of them supported him between them. She shook her head to clear away some of the unkempt brown strands that fell into her large blue eyes.

            "Gram will know what to do," she answered. The two of them carefully began to nearly drag him back to their home.

            Another loud thud fell upon his door, making a sort of dull clang, since it was a sort of metal material. Nevertheless, it was persistent. And annoying as hell on top of that. Gareas groaned, turning over in his bed, burying his head underneath a pillow. He'd never enjoyed the mornings, and he most certainly wasn't about to start now.

            "Go away!" his voice mumbled through the pillow, strained and hoarse. Another bang on the door told him he'd either been ignored, or not even heard.

            "Garu! Garu, get up! I'm not having you sit around in bed all day! It's not healthy!" Leena. 

            "Damn it…" Gareas tried to ignore her, pretending he'd fallen back to sleep. Though that would've been an amazing feat, given the circumstances. The pounding stopped, and for a moment, Gareas thought his repairer had given up. His heart sank when he heard a muffled mumbling out side his door. He removed the pillow, sitting up to try and discern the words of the conversation outside. And then a sharp voice addressed him angrily.

            "Elidd." The flat voice and cold tone gave away the fact that Teela had now come to rouse him from his sleep. Though certainly, she would have no success and rousing him from his depression. That would never go away…Gareas huddled together as the cold lump began to form in his stomach, the one he'd managed to dull with sleep, but now was rock hard ice once more. "You are obligated to do your work as a pilot, and I expect nothing less from you." Now white hot anger, though not hot enough to melt the ice, flared up in the green-eyed boy. He practically flung himself out of bed, paying no mind to the rumpled mess his uniform was in. He opened his door, eyes flashing dangerously as they met with Teela's own indifferent ones.

            "No." he grated, making sure he looked down upon her, purposely defying her. Teela's icy eyes narrowed.

            "If this is about Cuore, then this argument might as well end now. Losses are tragic, but we still have to work to prevent more from happening. It's inevitable. Now get dressed." She began to turn and walk away, when Gareas caught her upper arm in a firm grasp. She glared at him, attempting to throw his grip off of her, but he held relentlessly. Eyes burning, he glared into her; through her. For a moment, Teela almost looked…scared. Scared of what Gareas might do. Quickly though, that fear in her eyes was walled up again, and she regarded Gareas flatly, paying no mind to his obvious advantage in height and strength.

            "No, I think you should listen to me for once. You may want to shrug off Ernest's death like it was some war casualty, but I won't. You may not be able to feel the pain I'm feeling, but I do. And I will tell you something else, _Leader," Gareas' voice rose as he continued, Teela staring at him blankly, and Leena watching in shock. "Ernest __didn't have to die. It wasn't until far after he was lost that you actually __did anything. Maybe if you actually cared about your comrades you—" _

            "Enough!" Teela's voice rang in the silence well after she'd cried out. She breathed deeply, Gareas releasing her arm. "At least I know my place. My judgment resides over yours, and you'll do well to remember that." Gareas stared, his voice gone from him now. The pilot's leader regarded him with an even gaze. "And I'll leave you to think on this; maybe if you hadn't have rushed into such a suicidal position, he wouldn't have had to sacrifice himself for your sake." Teela turned on her heel, leaving Gareas in total shock, his knees weak. Leena rushed to his side.

            "Garu? Garu—are you all right?" Gareas sank down to the floor, Teela's words still stinging like salt in a raw wound. Leena sat down beside him. "Garu…I…"

            "She's right," Gareas' voice came out choked. He stared blindly ahead, his whole body seemingly detached from his head. "Damn it…she's right…"

            Erts sighed, stepping out of the Luhma-Klein, Tune giving him a small reassuring smile from behind the control panel. 

            "Don't worry; you're doing fine for someone who's just starting," she told him, her voice sweet, yet soft. Erts breathed deeply, his breath stirring his bangs as he exhaled. He rubbed at the back of his neck absently.

            "Not as well as I had hoped," he admitted reluctantly. He turned to Tune suddenly, catching her off guard. She tensed a little as his blue-eyed gaze fell upon her. She recognized those eyes, they felt like Ernest's, though wider and younger, they still held the same maturity. "Are you unhappy with me?" Tune breathed inwards sharply at that; she must've been projecting negative emotions just then. She'd nearly forgotten Erts was also an empath. She smiled again, this time slightly unsure.

            "I'm sorry…"

            "You miss him, don't you?" The question was innocent, but still, it brought back the pain. It was still fresh for her; she'd been very fond of Ernest. Erts waited for her answer patiently.

            "Yes, I do," She replied softly. The young repairer could feel her eyes beginning to tear once more, so she shook her head to clear her eyes. Eyes still moist, she gave Erts a smile. "Why don't we try again? I'm sure you'll be able to gain control this time!" Erts smiled at the girl's quick resolve. At least she still had a bright attitude, though he could feel an undertone of deep pain emitting from her. Poor girl.

            The sound of heels clicking along the walk below alerted the pilots of the arrival of their leader. Rio raised his head from looking over Phil's shoulder at the control panel. He raised an eyebrow.

            "Where's Gareas?" he asked. Teela raised her head, her eyes slightly angry at the question. Rio winced, and Phil rolled her eyes, mostly to herself.

            "He won't be joining us today. It seems he's gotten a taste of the unbearable truth." She deadpanned. Rio stared at their leader in confusion. The aqua haired woman took another step forward, when a voice stopped her.

            "Wrong again, Leader." Teela whipped her head around, sending long tendrils of hair flying. Much to her subdued amazement, there stood Gareas, dressed in his uniform and seemingly much better put together than in their previous meeting. 

            "Oh. So I see you've changed your mind, then." She observed, none of the victory she felt leaking into her voice. 

            "Nope." Teela almost looked surprised, for the second time that day. She watched, speechless, as Gareas readied his Ingrid by himself. She clenched her fist at her side, marginally annoyed by Gareas' behavior.

            "What are you doing?" she asked, the flatness in her voice slightly stirred. Gareas smirked to himself as his Ingrid opened for him to be absorbed inside. "We're not going out now." Teela continued. "Are you even listening to me?"

            "I've got a mission." Was all Gareas responded with. Teela watched, with some detached amazement, as Gareas entered the Eeva-Leena without any second thought. That was when a started Leena entered.

            "What's he doing?! Garu!" Leena cried at the Ingrid, which was starting to pull out of its docking space. "Gareas!" Her voice couldn't reach the young pilot; the Ingrid was already headed on its way out. Teela simply stood, watching, a slight revelation coming over her.

            "I have to say," the leader commented. "He is quite determined. That is a good trait in a pilot." And with this, she returned to her own adjustments to Ernn-Laties. Leena frowned deeply, pushing back her blonde hair from her face. She walked over to her control panel, now accompanied by an empty docking area. She noticed that was a crumpled piece of paper sitting there, and raised an eyebrow, picking it up. She smoothed it out, reading the scrawled writing on it.

            _Leena,_

_I'm doing what I have to do. I know he's out there, and I'm gonna find him. Please don't worry. I'll try not to get killed._

_            Garu_

            Annoyed, Leena folded the paper back up, and held it tightly in her fist.

            "Gareas, you idiot. You love-struck _idiot."_

            All he knew was that he was alive. He didn't know where he was, he couldn't even tell if he was lying down or standing up. His body was numb, not even tingling. It felt as if he'd been sleeping for years, and woke up to find nothing the same.

            He couldn't remember…

            After a few long minutes, Ernest's eyes flickered open, tentatively. He could feel the pupils shrink against the sunlight that shot into them, and it stung, even though it was a mild light that entered. He squinted his eyes, allowing them time to adjust. His body began to regain feeling, and he realized he was lying in a bed. Deeply breathing in, so deep that his lungs began to ache, he tried sitting upright. That proved to be not such a good idea. His head swirled, and a dizzying sensation passed over his whole body. He braced himself in the sitting position for awhile, until these sensations dulled. Then he scanned his surroundings with pale blue eyes, so fresh and new to this world. He had no recollection of any other.

            The room seemed like a small guestroom, a window let in a warm breeze on one side, light yellow curtains fluttering with it. He lay in a bed with clean white sheets. He looked down at himself, noticing many little scrapes, and bandages on his exposed upper body. He wore a simple pair of sweatpants on his legs. The door to the room creaked open, and a young woman peeked her head inside.

            "Ah, you're awake," she smiled, her words filled with relief. Ernest could even feel the relief lacing them. Odd. "Do you feel all right?" she asked, taking a step forward. His eyes passed over her. She was a girl who looked to be in her late teens, with shoulder length, spunky brown hair. Her eyes were a clear deep blue, round and pretty. His lips curved into a smile.

            "I feel…fine…I guess," he replied uncertainly. "But…" She leaned in closer, cocking her head to one side. 

            "What's wrong?" He raised a hand to his forehead, letting it rest in his palm, squeezing his eyes shut.

            "I can't…remember anything…" Ernest opened his eyes. "All…blank…" The girl's eyes widened. She chewed on her lower lip in anxious thought, pondering over a solution to the problem. "Can you tell me?" he asked, eyes pleading with her. Her eyes dropped his gaze, almost guiltily.

            "I can't," she responded softly. "I don't know you. Me and my…my brother, we found you, half dead, in a coffin…We have no idea who you are or where you came from…" she paused. "Are you sure you don't remember anything?" He shook his head.

            "Nothing…It's all…blurry…" 

            "Here," The girl held out a glass of water for him, and he smiled in gratitude, taking a few sips before returning it to her. 

            "Thank you," She smiled, and again, he picked up a warm feeling of relief coming from her. She sat down in a chair next to the bed, gazing down at her hands. She smiled, chuckling a little to herself.

            "I'm really not sure what to say, seeing that you don't have any memories…It's not as though you can tell me about yourself…" She sighed. "Well, might as well tell you about me. My name is Kyla." He smiled, finding her nature a nice one to be with, bubbly, kind, and open. As she talked, he continued to receive matching emotions from her, and soon found himself at ease with the girl. "My brother's name is Tai. We live with Gram…she's the one that took care of your wounds, by the way…um…hey!" Suddenly, she jumped up. "What am I gonna call you, until you get your memory back?" Ernest looked surprised at her outburst, and then shook his head.

            "I don't mind…whatever you would like is fine…" Ernest lowered his head, his beautiful golden hair becoming a curtain around his angelic face. Kyla smiled, an idea coming to mind.

            "Well, if you don't mind…how about Angel?" Ernest looked up, his eyes wide, sort of speechless. Kyla grinned. "It suits you; you know…you must've fallen from the sky, the way your casket was." A smile passed over him.

            "All right. Angel then."

_            "Gareas, you're going to get yourself killed one of these days," Ernest's voice chimed in, the same words replaying once again. Gareas couldn't even begin to count the number of times he'd heard this __lecture. _

_            "No I won't," he argued. Ernest's sigh interjected. "Hey, you're no better; you never look on the bright side of things!" A soft chuckle emitted from the blonde._

_            "Garu, why do I need a bright side of things when I have you?" Saying this, he wrapped his arms around the green-haired pilot's waist from behind. A soft snort from Gareas answered._

_            "Don't tell me that!" he scolded, but laughed. Ernest leaned in closer, resting his cheek against Gareas' back. He closed his eyes, breathing in Gareas' scent, a sharp distinctive odor, one he couldn't get enough of._

_            "Just promise me you won't play hero…" he murmured, squeezing Gareas tighter. Gareas clasped his hands over where Ernest's rested on his waist._

_            "All right," He sighed deeply. "For you," _

_            "Thank you," Ernest answered against Gareas' shoulder._

Author's Note: Neeeee…not one of my longest chapters, but it'll hafta do…*sigh* Okay, so you're wondering, 'Why was Teela such a bitch?' and I shall reply to you, that's just how she struck me in 'the' episode. No, seriously, Gareas and Tune were the only ones that _cried, and quite frankly, Teela really didn't seem to care much…huh. Well, she'll probably 'develop' as this story goes along, as all characters do. Oh yes, and one more thing; I refused to watch any episodes of this after 9…so excuse any blips I may have in the information. _

Pinku: POCKY! I get pocky now, ne? Ne?!

Lorelei: Why don't you go see A-chan?

Pinku: *scowls* I _knew you were lying to me…_

Lorelei: Don't I always?


	3. Chapter Two

Title: Cruel Fate

Content: shonen ai, random flashback scenes! Fun for everyone! 

Disclaimer: Megami Kouhosei is not my creation. There. I've said my peace.

Pinku: Mou…I have no more pocky…A-KOI!!!

Lorelei: *falls over* 

Pinku: Oh yeah, note that in italics are flashbacks…

Lorelei: I've decided to show the development of their relationship, going backwards from Ernest's NOT death. Or eating his last French fry. *Grin*

~Chapter Two~

            _The pilot's training was standard. Even as pilots, the need for them to exercise their skills was imperative. The pilot's training was basic; there was both physical training, and technical training. First there was the technical training on simulated Ingrid control panels. Each pilot was paired to practice against another for the training sessions. Teela, being First, didn't take part in the basic training for the pilots. Usually, Gareas and Ernest were allotted against each other, as their contradicting personalities neutralized; or that was the idea. Yu and __Rio__'s personalities also worked in this way. _

_            The pilots were now beginning the technical training, each seated at their panels with various wires monitoring their breathing, heart rate, and brain waves. Ernest cautiously looked up from his panel to cast a shy glance Gareas' way, who would grin at the blonde each time. Ernest's cheeks would turn pink, and he'd quickly look down again to study the blips and lines on the screen, indicating the place their Ingrids would __be, had this been an actual battle. _

_            Ernest had never won against Gareas in these kinds of things. Even with his telepathy, he couldn't beat the skilled pilot. Today, however, was different. Gareas seemed a great deal less aggressive, allowing the blonde some le-way in their training. The green-eyed boy's screen blipped as he put himself into 'danger', warning him Ernest had the upper hand. Gareas smirked, raising his head to see a cute look of surprise of Ernest's face. _

_            'Bleep bleep!'_

_            Ernest had won. The blonde's head snapped up to eye Gareas warily. The green-haired pilot smirked, leaning back in his seat and raising an eyebrow at Ernest, who stared in wide-eyed shock. _

_            "Garu—" _

_            "02! You're letting your attention slip!" One of the monitors barked. Obviously, Gareas' brain reading hadn't proved too well. Gareas sighed._

_            "Yeah yeah…" he muttered. "Yes, sir." He answered so the monitors would hear him. They didn't respond, so he figured they were satisfied. Gareas smiled at Ernest. "Huh. Congratulations," his eyes glinted mischievously. "Ko-i." He pronounced each syllable clearly so Ernest would have no mistake in hearing it; the blonde's cheeks became slightly pink. _

_            "Thank you…" he responded quietly, though smiling the whole time._

_            The second part of training was the physical half. Strength in body was just as important as strength in mind in their line of work. Today's physical training would be the one on one hand to hand combat. Every pilot kept the same partners, while Teela practiced privately with an instructor. Ernest sighed to himself when his and Gareas' turn came up. Gareas had always __gone easy on him, since they'd been good friends for a long time. He'd never liked the fact he'd been given that sympathy. If he was a pilot, he'd do his best, and he figured Gareas should too. Ernest grabbed Gareas' arm, leaning his face towards Gareas' ear. Gareas smiled, tingling at the touch._

_            "Don't go easy on me, okay?" Ernest told him. Gareas seemed surprised, but smiled and nodded._

_            "All right then. But don't say I didn't warn you; I like playing rough," There was a strange undercurrent in the pilot's voice, causing Ernest to blush slightly once again. The two took their places on the floor. Ernest struck out at Gareas first, going for both the teen's arms to pin him down. However, Gareas predicted his move, and twisted his body away, grabbing one of Ernest's wrists tightly. Ernest scowled, attempting to twist out of Gareas' grip. He tried lifting his knee into Gareas' waist, to throw the boy off, but Gareas leaned his body back, Ernest's kick missing. The blonde lost balance for a moment, falling forward. Gareas caught him, briefly holding him against his chest, and then clamping his hands around both Ernest's wrists._

_            Ernest tensed now, the adrenaline rushing through his body. He was scared, but in an excited way. Mostly, there was more of a thrill going through him, causing warm tingles to course through his body. He hoped no one could tell what he was feeling. Gareas pushed Ernest to the ground, pinioning his light body under the strength of his own. The two locked eyes for long minutes, each wanting to go on, go further…_

_            Gareas leaned his face in closer, his lips barely grazing Ernest's. The muscles in his legs were taught, Ernest could feel them tense and un-tense in anticipation. Ernest gasped quietly and Gareas lifted his body off of him. Ernest lay on the floor for a moment, looking up at Gareas. The green-eyed teen turned his head away, feigning disinterest in his comrade's sprawled form._

_            "Saa…looks like I won, Ernest," Gareas declared, eyes gleaming down on Ernest's prone form. Quickly, the blonde pushed himself up on his elbows, scrambling into a standing position. He and Gareas were close enough for Gareas to breathe words to him. "Wouldn't mind doing that again," Ernest, for the fourth time that day, blushed, this time a much deeper pink. _

            Kizna's cat ears twitched curiously as Zero exited the battle training arena. For some reason, the young candidate was in an uncharacteristically somber mood, and it was showing in his actions. Today's practice with Hiead seemed less than up to his normal standards, even if he didn't always win normally. His heart just didn't seem to be in it.

            "Zero?" the cat-girl questioned as the blue-eyed candidate walked by. Zero stopped, turning to face his partner. "Are you all right?" Zero gave her a weak smile, and reached behind his head absently.

            "Sure. I'm okay," he answered. Kizna raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Really!" Kizna sighed, not bothering to try and pester his problem out of him.

            "Well, 88, that battle wasn't even up to your standards, if that's the case," came Azuma's critical voice. "I suggest you work out your problems by next time," he advised the young candidate. Zero nodded slowly.

            "Yes sir," he replied. He let his eyes drop to the floor, and he saw a pair of boots walk up to him. Zero frowned. He knew exactly what was coming now…

            "Zero." That cold impassive voice struck a chord in normally-buoyant candidate. Zero cringed inwardly, lifting his head to look Hiead in the face. He swallowed back the lump in his throat that always came when Hiead was talking to him. He had no idea why this was so. "You weren't trying. I can tell. Even if you're no good when you do anyway." Zero clenched his fist at his side, seriously wanting, itching to deliver a punch square in the silver haired candidate's jaw. He restrained himself. 

            "What would you know about being good?! A pilot has to have heart too, y'know, not just skill!" Zero argued, his voice raising. Kizna's ears perked up, and she stumbled up from her seat. 

            "Z-Zero…!" she exclaimed in a warning tone. Zero ignored her. He took a step closer to his fellow candidate, eyes burning passionately now.

            "I don't care what _you think about me; or anyone else for that matter!" Kizna was now waving her hands at him, trying to get him to stop. Suddenly, Zero found his fist flying to meet with Hiead's jaw. Zero couldn't even stop himself. Tightly, he squeezed his blue eyes shut, not knowing where his punch would land…_

            His gloved fist hit with a soft thud in the palm of Hiead's hand. The silver haired candidate had blocked his shot. Zero's eyes opened, and the young candidate stared in shock as Hiead's fist tightened, and then released his hand. His fierce red eyes glared angrily at Zero.

            "Don't ever try that again." He breathed, his voice an angry hiss. Zero watched as his fellow candidate walked briskly past him, and down the corridor. Kizna sighed, shaking her head.

            "Leave it to Hiead to put the passion back in Zero,"

            "Angel!" The voice and the name it called were foreign, unknown, and unrecognizable. Sleep ridden, the blonde's hand twitched, wanting to reach out and hold on to the dream, the dream that was pulling away quickly now. 

_Wait…Not yet…_

            His eye lids twitched, fighting awakening, watching as the blurry image of people fall away. And the face, the face he'd kept seeing, in the back of his mind, that warm loving face…

_Who…?_

            "Angel?" His dreams were gone now, and they left no traces of their existence. Angel opened his eyes slowly, only feeling the lost sensation of forgetting a dream, and the nagging feeling of trying to remember it. He shrugged that away, sitting upright to be greeted by Kyla's bright face. "Oh, did I wake you?" she smiled apologetically. "I didn't mean to," She brightened. "How are you feeling today? Any memories returned?" She punctuated the statement with a playful wink. Angel shook his head slowly.

            "Not at all…" his voice bordered on sadness, feeling a loss that would never be known, but still missed all the same. Kyla put a hand on his shoulder.

            "Don't worry. I've thought of something that may cheer you up, if you think you're up to it, of course…" She said this with a playful gleam in her eye. Angel raised his head, curiosity in his eyes. "Ah! Well, my gram owns a stable, so we've got plenty of horses around here…" Angel stared at her in silence.

            "Horses…?" Kyla's eyes widened, and then she began to laugh, Angel feeling rather confused, and sort of stupid as well. Kyla breathed deeply, calming her laughter as she wiped at her eyes.

            "Oh…that's right. You must've come from one of those space stations. A horse…well, why don't you come with me and check it out? Then maybe we can go riding…" Angel had already begun lifting himself out of bed, ignoring the small pangs of pain that implemented why he was here. Kyla grinned, tossing him an armful of various articles of clothing. Angel stared at them a moment, then looked back to Kyla. "Get dressed. You're cute an' all shirtless, but that won't do you any good riding, hm?" The girl turned, leaving him to dress. Angel eyed the clothing, and began pulling it on. He thought while he did this, about the dream, far too distant to recall completely, but maybe it would give him some answers…

_He had…green! His eyes were green…weren't they?_

            Angel sighed. It wasn't much use now. He could hardly remember anything about the dream, aside from that face, all blurry and undistinguishable. The blonde left the room slowly, looking back at the bed he'd slept in, hoping for the dream to return to him, hoping for _something to return to him._

_Something's not right…_

            In a heat of frustration, Gareas groaned to himself. He'd have punched something, and with a great vengeance, had there been anything at his exposure to strike. However, he was in the Eeva-Leena, and the space around him was just that; space. And a damn empty bit of space at that. He let his eyes wander, seeing the entire view of space before him, though it was really more of an illusion, a screen projecting the outside image at him. It was terribly empty.

            Gareas had half expected there to be a faint crackle, and a familiar voice over the communication system. Always, there'd been someone; possibly Teela, giving instructions, Rio complaining about being hungry, but mostly, it was Ernest. Ernest giving him warning, Ernest giving him comfort, Ernest simply tying to smooth Gareas' rippled personality. Gareas smirked ruefully. He'd never _really succeeded in that, had he?_

            Something picked up on the screen. Gareas tensed. It couldn't be a VICTIM, could it? Gareas looked closer, and sighed in relief. No, it was a planet. Zion. The only planet for miles, at any rate. The one they fought to protect. Gareas' brow creased in thought. Zion was directly adjacent from their headquarters, and anything on a path remotely close to it would be pulled in to it. Odd. He'd never thought of this until now. Wait…

            Hadn't Ernest's casket been sent in that direction? Had there been some miscalculation on board, and had Ernest inadvertently been sent to Zion? It was highly likely, now that the thought had made itself present. Zion had enough mass to pull in objects around it, and certainly, if the casket had come close enough, it too would've been sucked in by Zion's force of gravity. 

            The gears in Gareas' brain were finally working again, something they hadn't done since Ernest had…

            There was no time to think on that now. Gareas was determined to find Ernest, dead _or alive, and looking on Zion was looking far better than looking through the rest of space. Now all he had to do was figure out how he'd safely land his goddess there…_

            Gareas let his hand run along the "imaginary" control paneling, recalling from the far corners of his mind how to set up communication with Zion through the Goddesses. He smiled when he got positive signs; his communicator making blipping noises, a dial-up tone of some sort. A crackle. And then;

            "Hello?" If Gareas was correct, this was the Goddess's station on Zion. He hoped he was correct.

            "This is pilot 02, and I'd like to let you know I'll be landing on Zion shortly, and I'd advise you clear the area," Gareas informed the person on the other end.

            "W-what?!"

            "You heard me. I'll give you…thirty seconds. Out."

Author's Note: WAI! I love the flashback…*cough* Anyway, yeah, Garu's kinda impulsive there, isn't he…? Heh, well, that's why we love 'im! And when Ernest is 'Angel' I'll just call him Angel, to make things easier. That way you know he still doesn't remember…ok. I'll shut up now.

Pinku: *childish grin*

Lorelei: *sigh* Every time…every time I mention Angel, you go all doofy!

Pinku: A-koiii…

Lorelei: *smacks head* This is what I have to work with…see you later, minna…


	4. Chapter Three

Title: Cruel Fate

Content: shonen ai, AU and the like…

Disclaimer: I own not the characters…wait, I own Kyla. Whoo. Go me…*weeps* I'd just like to apologize for the big delay and all that junk and I'm sorry and I know I'm a bad girl and I will try to make it up somehow…*weeps*

Author's Notes: *clears throat* I shall now thank you for your reviews by name to make up for the gap. I don't usually do this…but hey? What the heck! 

Siberian (Thanks for, like, not killing me yet…^_^ we took some damn nice screen shots, ne?), Warui Warui Neko (I ask myself why it wasn't like this everyday…), CrystalStarGuardian (Ernest never should have died…but we won't let that stop us!), kapies (But doesn't Ernest strike you as an Angel? He does to me!), Lady Ev (I try so much to write more…I try! Honest!), Kobura Doragon (NO! He is NOT dead!), XPKoganei4XP (If only threats made me write faster…*sigh*), Alanna (Oh, now we know Ernest is far from being like A-chan…hehe…), gundamesca (Don't worry; I have an idea that fills that detail in…you'll see!), Chevira Lowe (Oh, yes, drama…*splashes water on her*), Kichigai (Impulsive Garu makes Sora happy! But she likes shirtless Garu better! Hehe!), Nanashii Tigress (Flashbacks are fun…^_^ I wish I'd write faster…)

Well, that's everyone. Now let's see if I can continue…

~Chapter Three~

            Angel found riding to have a very calming affect on the nerves. Kyla had even taught him well enough to be able to go out on his own. And he needed to be, to do some deep thinking on his position. He rode out to the place his coffin had landed, to try and possibly regain any memories that he could.

            The horse, Strawberry, which was fitting to her strawberry blonde color, flicked her ears warily upon seeing the large black box. Angel scratched the place between the ears to attempt to set her more at ease, before sliding out of the saddle. Carefully, he approached the coffin, running his hand along the smooth ebony surface. Metal. Strange; something told him that wasn't normal. The fact that he had trouble remembering basic facts well made him push that thought aside. Though he sometimes wondered how he was able to remember how to talk, and do basic things. Angel shoved these thoughts aside as well, simply because they were far too complicated to dwell upon at the moment.

            The casket was still open from when he was removed from it. He noted it was rather thick. He passed this off as simple technology, something from one of those space stations he had supposedly come from. The inside of the coffin was even more strange; there seemed to be some kind of air vents lining the sides. Now that made him think; why would there be air vents in a coffin? Coffins were for dead people, unless they weren't dead yet…

            "Angel!" the familiar cry shook Angel from his thoughts. He looked up with a smile, and as he expected, Kyla lingered at Strawberry's side, laying a hand on the horse's smooth neck. She cocked her head, blue eyes sparkling curiously. "What are you doing here?" Angel shook his head, pushing away from his kneeling position at the coffin's side. 

            "Just looking," he answered. A thought, completely random and sudden, burst forward in his mind, as if, after much struggling, was set free, and made known. "The Goddesses," he whispered, unable to contain this new idea. Kyla's body seemed to tense visibly. 

            "W-what?" she asked, almost as quietly. Angel turned his head to look at her, his eyes bordering somewhere between shock and fear.

            "What are the Goddesses?" he asked, some urgency leaking into his voice. Kyla visibly bristled against the question, her eyes narrowing somewhat.

            "The Goddesses…they're supposed to protect us, but," she stopped, shaking her head. A smile replaced her look of distress. "Let's go home. There's nothing else here to help you." She swung up onto the horse's back, offering a hand to Angel. He cast one last glance at the abandoned casket, and accepted that hand.

            The office was dark, as usual, hiding what didn't need to be seen. A strange, blue-hued light solely illuminated the room; casting eerie shadows in the corners that light could not reach. All of this centered around one main desk, and an equally shadowy figure residing at it. 

            The figure was that of Masaki [1], head of G.O.A., the man responsible for everyone, and the one everyone was responsible for. The man that carried only one name, and was recognizable by that alone.

            The man hardly spoke words to anyone beyond his direct associates and the head of the pilots herself. And even that was done moderately. Despite this, he had an immense knowledge of what was going on within his station, and the means to make it run smoothly. He'd even just recently dealt with a minor wrinkle in the workings of the pilots. Some things had to be avoided in their line of duty, as much as it hurt to deal with it. 

            Just then, in the middle of his own reminiscence, a tone sounded at Masaki's door. That meant someone requested entrance. No one ever came to him without permission unless it was important, so he pressed down on the button to open the door. The metal slid open with a silent swish, and a man in a long white lab coat stepped in before the door closed once more. The latter wore a slightly preoccupied look on his face.

            "What is it, Doctor Terufumi?" Masaki questioned, eyeing the doctor critically. Terufumi ran a hand through his tousled dark hair, and cleared his throat.

            "Do you remember the formula we used on subject number 03?" the doctor began, shoving a hand into his coat pocket to avoid fidgeting with it. Masaki, folding his hands together atop his desk, nodded slowly. 

            "What of it?" he asked, becoming marginally bored with this visit. Had they not taken care of this already?

            "Well, we've carried out further testing, and it seems the substance…may be only tentatively permanent," The doctor finished. The head of G.O.A.'s brows furrowed at this news. He'd expected guarantees about his decisions. This was not what he'd expected.

            "What do you mean by that, doctor?" the man asked warily. Terufumi straightened, hesitating for a moment or two before relaying an answer.

            "It appears that from our testing, the formula only keeps an uncertain hold…and sometimes tends to weaken, allowing fragments of memory to break through…" Masaki sighed heavily, rubbing his thumb and forefinger over the bridge of his nose. Terufumi tensed, awaiting a reprimand. 

            No such thing was given to him.

            "Well," Masaki began at length. "We'll just have to make sure nothing interferes with our arrangement. As long as the full memories do not return, we shouldn't have a problem. If he tries to piece them together himself, we shall have to deal with this the…more efficient way." Terufumi's eyes widened marginally at this idea, and then he bowed his head.

            "Sir, I'll take my leave, then." He stated, moving towards the door. He paused before exiting. "Sir," Masaki looked up.

            "Yes?" 

            "First was waiting to see you, sir," Terufumi declared. Masaki nodded slowly.

            "Let her in," Terufumi nodded curtly, stepping out of the office. His presence was almost immediately, and silently, replaced by that of the long haired young woman that he'd spoke of. Masaki raised his eyes to meet hers, smiling slightly.

            "Teela," he greeted, receiving a nod from the young woman in return. She was silent before coming directly to the point.

            "Sir," she began, her voice calm and level, as it normally was. "Pilot 02 won't be able to assist us temporarily." Masaki scowled, raising his eyebrows.

            "Why is this?" he asked placidly. Teela smothered all annoyance she may have felt rather affectively. 

            "He gave no explanation besides that he had 'a mission'." She reported. Masaki repressed a sigh. Pilot 02 was part of the problem…Though, it was possible this was only a coincidence. He could only hope that head-strong pilot wasn't going to meddle in things that were beyond his control. Masaki hadn't realized he'd said nothing in response for quite some time, until Teela prompted him. "What shall we do, sir?" Masaki rolled the question over in his mind for a minute or two, before reaching an answer.

            "Send Candidate 87 in his place for the time being. When he returns, he can go back to work." Teela seemed surprised for a moment, before sliding her impassiveness back into place.

            "Yes sir," she agreed silently. She turned to go, and paused. "Sir?" Masaki was eyeing the back of her head, since she hadn't turned back to face him. "Why do you choose to send the pilots' dead bodies into space?" Her question seemed innocent enough; even she'd no idea the true intent of this ritual. Masaki searched for a suitable explanation to give to her.

            "To send them home. To space, the mother of us all." Teela nodded her head slightly, and left. "To give them a last chance," Masaki added silently.

_            Never. Never had he used such a harsh tone towards anyone. Never had he said such stinging words. And never had Ernest hurt anyone using physical violence, much less Gareas._

_            The green haired pilot raised a shaking hand to his now darkening cheekbone, his mind reeling, and not from the pain of the blow. Something in his friend had snapped, and that scared Gareas, more than anything. What had happened to push Ernest so close to the edge?_

_            And then the realization hit; sudden and painful. It was him. Ernest was angry with him, and it was Gareas' fault he was so upset. But why? He had only been doing what he was supposed to do. How had he hurt his best friend so? A wave of guilt passed over Gareas, nearly making him sick._

_            "Garu?" Leena queried worriedly, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, offering him support. Gareas shook his head, wanting badly to push away from her and go after his blonde friend. But why? He loved Leena, didn't he? Even if he didn't love her, he still wanted her. Or so he thought. Now, he was too confused, too scared and disoriented to even think. A little more roughly than he has intended, Gareas pushed away from Leena and into a standing position._

_            "Can't…gotta find Ernest." He blurted, running off in the direction Ernest had taken. A thousand thoughts spun wildly in his head, and all of them centered on Ernest. Gareas barely even noticed that he was headed straight into a collision course with the object of his thoughts. The green haired pilot skidded to a stop._

_            Ernest stood completely still, leaning against the railing with his head tilted down, his silky blonde hair hiding his face. He had to know Gareas was there watching him, yet he said nothing. That silence was deathly. Ernest was obviously waiting for Gareas to be the one to break the silence._

_            "Ernest…" Anything else Gareas had to say died on his lips when he was met with a horribly lost expression from his expression. Gareas could feel his throat closing up. Why was he feeling this way? This wasn't the first time he had, but he thought he'd gotten over it. Leena had held his attention for awhile, but when he offered himself to her, she'd told him to wait. Why? "Why?" Gareas asked aloud. A sigh, soft, gentle, and beautiful was Ernest's response._

_            "Why." The blonde repeated softly. Gareas couldn't read Ernest now. "A better question is, why do you do this to me?" Gareas hadn't noticed that Ernest had taken a few steps closer to him._

_            "What did I do to you?" Gareas asked in a low voice. Gareas' hand itched to reach out and brush the hair from Ernest's face, soothe his rippled nerves, which were the only thing Gareas could read in Ernest's clear blue eyes._

_            "Gareas," Ernest began, exasperatedly. "It's that, no matter how much you yell at me or anyone, how much you don't care about the worth of your life and how everyone else feels, I still," he breathed deeply, a shuddering breath, before finishing. "I love you, Gareas. And no matter how reckless, insensitive, or careless you are, no matter how you feel about me, nothing is ever going to change that." If the wind had been knocked out of Gareas before, when Ernest punched him, then Gareas had no breath left now. And Ernest appeared relieved and nervous all at the same time. But…no one had ever told Gareas they'd loved him before._

_            Without even thinking, Gareas enfolded his strong arms around Ernest's slender figure in a tight embrace. The latter tensed in surprise at the touch, and only partly due to his EX, but Gareas only held him more possessively. Ernest relaxed a little, but there was still some nervous shock in him._

_            "Garu…what?" Gareas couldn't suppress a soft chuckle. Ernest was rather cute when he was confused. Cute? Ernest was his best friend…who loved him…wait. Ernest loved Gareas. He loved him in a way that went beyond friendship. Suddenly, Gareas felt himself go limp. "Gareas?"_

_            "You…you love me?" Gareas asked, his mouth suddenly a lot drier than it should be._

_            "Yes Gareas," Ernest responded tentatively. Gareas ran his tongue along his dry lips. He was unconsciously grabbing fistfuls of Ernest's uniform, clinging to him as if he'd float away without a firm support to Gareas._

_            "More than a friend?" Gareas continued._

_            "That's right." Ernest answered with a degree of more confidence. Gareas fell silent for a moment, a moment that stretched on for an eternity for them both._

_            That moment ended rather abruptly, however, when it was punctuated by Gareas clumsily placing his lips upon Ernest's, his nervousness affecting his actions. Clear blue eyes snapped open as Gareas crushed his mouth against Ernest's so fumblingly, it was almost romantic. But Ernest could hardly breathe, let alone return the kiss this way. Gently, he pressed his hands against Gareas' chest, pushing him away. The green haired pilot seemed confused at this action. Ernest smiled softly, wrapping his arms around Gareas' neck. Despite the fear buried deep within him at what new doors he was opening, and the path he was closing, he knew this was right._

_            "Let's try it this way," Ernest pulled Gareas towards him, giving the taller boy a much more graceful kiss. They even went further, their tongues in each other's mouth, tasting each other._

_            Gareas wondered vaguely if this was what Leena had meant by waiting. If so, he was glad that he had._

_            Had Ernest been a needle, and Zion a haystack, then Gareas' situation would fit the phrase perfectly. However, the young man did have one thing going for him; he could feel Ernest deep within him. If he was close, Gareas would be the first to know it. He was that sure of their bond._

            He'd started by looking through the database at the Zion G.O.A. base building. He'd searched hours for any sort of clue as to where Ernest had landed. He knew Ernest's coffin had to be on Zion, since caskets sent to Zion from G.O.A. were often doubly sturdy and made to resist any damage they might receive from the atmosphere so that they may be picked up and buried properly on the planet itself.

            Gareas just prayed no burying had taken place.

            The best Gareas had been able to do was track the coffin's direction from where it had originally left G.O.A. So, he found himself searching a small town far from technological civilization, and no clue as to where he should start.

            Not to mention he had no means of getting around this place.

            Gareas sighed heavily, leaning back to stare at the sky from the bench he sat on. He seemed to be in some little cluster of civilization, probably the most advanced aspect of the town itself. He'd remembered vaguely learning how many of the people on Zion wanted to hold onto the past that so many others had forgotten. Well, in Gareas' opinion, no one was forgetting, just building on and making in better. Of course, Gareas believed this mostly because that was what he'd been taught to believe. 

            Gareas turned his head to the sound of someone talking at his right, finding a little boy with dark hair and large brown eyes talking to a middle aged woman with light brown hair, flecked with a few peppered gray strands. Her eyes betrayed smile lines at their edges as she listened to the boy.

            "-he doesn't remember much, but he's doing good just the same. Gram says we should probably start looking for his family or somethin' soon," the boy trailed off sort of sadly. The woman placed a hand lightly on his head and gave him a small smile.

            "I'm sure he won't leave you forever. You did take care of him. Besides, from what you say, it might be awhile before he's ready to go yet," The boy smiled widely.

            "You're right," The woman then handed him a package, and exchanging goodbyes, the boy was on his way. Gareas arched an eyebrow at his parting, wondering what that snippet of discussion had been about. His emerald eyes wandered over to the woman, who was turning back to enter the small building she'd left with the boy, from the looks of it, a pharmacy of some sort. Gareas found himself standing and moving towards her impulsively, not even sure why, except for the itching feeling he felt in him to talk to her.

            "Hey, Miss! Excuse me, Miss!" Gareas called to her, just as the woman turned abruptly, coming nearly face to face with him. She frowned slightly.

            "Young man, there's no need to shout," she began, and then started eyeing him suspiciously. His clothing did seem a bit outlandish for the area, uniform white pants that clung to his legs, boots, and a navy colored shirt with the sleeves rolled up, the G.O.A. symbol on all of these. "What is it?" she asked, finishing her inspection as her eyes landed on his face. Gareas hesitated a moment, slightly uncomfortable in her critical gaze.

            "I-I'm looking for…someone," he stated, giving up on trying to avoid her eye contact. Might as well look his problems in the eye if there was any hope in finding Ernest. The woman's curiosity heightened at this.

            "Oh? You're from—" She gestured her head upwards slightly, to which Gareas responded with a curt nod. "Who is it that you are looking for?" she continued, her voice slightly softer. 

            "A…a friend. A man by the name of Ernest Cuore?" The woman gave the green-eyed teen an empty stare, before shaking her head sadly.

            "I have to say, I don't know of anyone by that name. We get a lot of nameless—" she tried to choose her next words carefully. "—bodies from up there. I'm really sorry," Gareas cast his head to the side, making eye contact with the ground. No…He'd been so close! It couldn't be-! He'd been so sure he'd find something…more than just…the body. Somewhere, there'd been a flicker of hope that he'd find Ernest, alive and well, and everything would be wonderful again. However, reality fell upon him like a heavy ton of metal, and it hurt. That little glimmer of hope was being extinguished. And then the woman began again, thoughtfully.

            "Though…There is someone you may want to see, if you're trying to at least find the…remains of this young man. Another one, from up there, was found, and maybe he has some connection to your friend? Though it might not be of much help, he doesn't remember anything…" Her last words were lost to Gareas. So there was still hope to find Ernest's remains? Well, that was better than never laying his eyes upon Ernest again, never having his final goodbye. The chance had been ripped from him before, but maybe…

            "Who is this?" Gareas asked, urgently. The woman looked shocked at his abruptness, but nodded her head.

            "He's staying with a family that owns the horse ranch, down that way." She pointed down the street, Gareas vaguely remembering the young boy having chosen that direction as well. His eyes lingered down that way for a moment, skepticism drowned out by longing, the latter prevailing in the end. He turned back to the woman.

            "I think I may try that," he stated simply. "Thanks." It was a small one, but Gareas had taken another step closer to putting this ordeal to a close. 

            The Goddesses. She'd always thought about them in the back of her mind, always pushing the memory farther back when it began to creep into the center of her consciousness. Sometimes it was better to forget. But she couldn't let it slip completely; she could never live with herself if she did that.

            It was highly ironic Angel had been the one to call forth the memory once again. But this time, it was far more vivid than the other times, and was harder to push away. It may not have been the worst thing to remember visibly, unlike the memories of soldiers and war, but it was certainly the saddest thing that had happened to her in her life. Since then, she'd tried to rebuild herself around her new circumstances, and had been doing quite well…until Angel mentioned the Goddesses. 

            Had Angel had something to do with them? That time? Kyla shook her head, drawing her knees up further towards her chest. Angel didn't know what he was talking about…

            But it did make sense. Kyla didn't want to accept that. Ever since that time, years ago, she'd only been able fear, hate, and marvel at the Goddesses all at once. Absently, she stretched out her hand in front of her face, flexing it slowly, as if grasping at something, like that day…

            _"Brother!" the cry was lost in the fray, swallowed up by the wind. "Mama!" But neither could hear her, and the latter was out of sight. But distantly, she could still see her younger sibling, marveling at the being that had come to save them. Why did he have to wander away? Even if the being was there to save them, she couldn't help but feel resent, as it drew her brother away from her, her mother already lost._

_            Her blue eyes flew wide open in panic as a white metallic hand reached out to her brother, and for moment, she feared it was going to kill him. She lost sight of the boy as the crowds throbbing about her pushed her away. _

_            "Rei!" was the young girl's last desperate cry, until all of her vision of the scene was blotted out by the moving bodies as people hurried to get away. _

_            Kyla shuddered involuntarily, running her hands up and down her forearms. So many years ago…she didn't even know what had become of her brother and her mother. Sometimes, she wondered what would have happened if the Goddesses hadn't existed…_

            _Then we would all be killed by VICTIM, came her dull thought in response. But she couldn't help but blame the beings for her loss that day. There was nothing else she could do…_

            A knock on her door made her jump, her mouth opening in a silent yelp from being shaken so suddenly from such deep thoughts. She turned her head towards the door, studying its wooden surface for a moment to collect herself before inviting the visitor inside.

            "Come in," she answered, her voice growing slightly more cheerful in comparison to her sullen thoughts. The door creaked open uncertainly, revealing it was Angel before the young man even entered. The blonde was always so timid, even after staying with them for as long as he had. She smiled fondly at him, happy to have someone to talk to. "Angel! Wh—" The look on Angel's face betrayed that he had something important to discuss with her. Her smile dissipated, and she regarded him seriously. "What is it?" Angel chewed lightly on his bottom lip for a moment, and then began.

            "Do you…remember this morning? When I asked you about the Goddesses?" Kyla nodded slowly, faintly wondering what he was getting at now. "I think I might've…I can't explain it really. It's almost as if I _was one, and wasn't all at once. That's the only memory that returned to me this morning. What does that mean?" Kyla lowered her head, breathing a sigh._

            "The Goddesses have pilots…maybe you were one of them," she suggested. The bed she'd been sitting on dipped as a new weight was added on, and she looked up to see Angel staring at her, still wanting to say more.

            "Maybe I was…but," He paused, unsure of how to continue. Kyla unfolded her legs, tossing them over the side of the bed to regard Angel fully. "But, I'd rather…I want to stay here, instead of going back. If that's what I was, than surely, this must be better?" Kyla's eyes were wide, as she read Angel with uncertainty. What was he saying? Did he want to throw his whole life away to stay with this new one? That was crazy. He didn't know if this was truly better. But…

            But she couldn't argue with herself that she didn't want to lose him to the Goddesses. She'd already lost her brother, her mother…she didn't want to lose her friend too. Maybe it was selfish, but she couldn't help but feel any other way. And it was what he wanted…

            "Angel…" she could feel the tingling of moisture hanging in her eyes, and she smiled. "Of course. Of course you can stay." Maybe it was wrong, but at the same time, it felt so right…

            _The Goddesses cannot have everything I love. Rei…I will try to hold onto this one…_

_            Angel was almost unable to recall the image, but he could see it, blurry and far away, two somber green eyes, wanting nothing more than to be accepted, and yet facing rejection. A part of Angel felt he'd betrayed those eyes. But…he had know idea whose they were, and no idea who he had betrayed._

[1] Why did I even put a number? Oh well. Does this dude have a real name? The one that talks to Teela a lot? Well, I have now named or re-named him Masaki. Go me. Power to the toasters. *slinks away*

Author's Note: *sniffs* Upon the completion of this chapter, I realized that Graeas/Ernest fanfiction has been dwindling. I am very upset. But other than that, I am also upset about Sora's account of the OAV relayed to me. But I won't spoil you, even though I've been by Sora…but it was willingly. *coughs*  

Pinku: Wow…this is a record! Only 4 months since your last update on this one!

Lorelei: *stares* Holy crap! It's true! I'm so ba~ad! Hehehe…Well, anyway, I hope this installment was to your liking. It seems I've more work to do. *weeps* Console me, Chemistry is being horrible to me!

Pinku: No one's here to console you…*sigh*

Lorelei: *sniff* Oh yes, and if you can't tell, I'm really making an honest attempt at an interesting plot! I am! *worries* I'm not great at that…

Pinku: I think—

Lorelei: WELL I THINK THAT IS IT. ^_^

Pinku: …pocky for your thoughts? And I mean pocky for me?


End file.
